As I’ve grown older (and larger) I’ve come to a conclusion: Fats seems to be higher darkish! Subsequently, as summer season will get nearer, I get antsy about sporting my shorts (not to mention bathing swimsuit!). With all the risks related to tanning beds, I made a decision to attempt a twig tan. When you have by no means had a twig tan, stay vicariously by way of me after which determine!
Step One: Name to forward to schedule appointment. Resolve when to go primarily based on the time the shop is least busy (as if everybody wont know that the tan is faux).
Step Two: The “Tanning Technician” tells me to exfoliate and never use any lotions or make-up.
Step Three: Resolve to wash proper earlier than the appointment. Exfoliate.
Step 4: Get out of Tub.
Step 5: Notice you might have main HAIR (down and round locations that may get spray tanned) and get again in tub.
Step Six: Shave locations you’ll be able to’t see. Change into impressed my means to stretch and bend like a pretzel. Marvel if there’s sufficient hair to donate to “Locks of Love.”
Step Seven: Marvel if what my two-year-old daughter simply witnessed will scar her for all times.
Step Eight: Go with out lotion or make-up to the tanning salon (resist urge to itch quick shaving burn and really feel new “hairless bottom 강남풀싸롱.”
Step 9: Act like I’m not uncomfortable as I strip right down to my thong lingerie. Be ok with the choice to shave (locations down there).
Step Ten: Placed on foolish shower cap.
Step Eleven: Try to not make eye contact with “spray tan woman,” because the precise act of spraying another person bare is awkward sufficient.
Step Twelve: Silently clap inside as she would not not ask me to “bend over” to spray precise butt crack (the white crack tan line would not trouble me!).
Step 13: Marvel if the “Tanning Technician” thinks stretch marks and veins on my bottom is an precise map.
Step Fourteen: Faux that you do not discover has she has to go over your butt cheeks about 5 instances (whereas each different space took as soon as).
Step Fifteen: Faux it is not awkward as you life up your legs to make sure no “bikini line” tan traces.
Step Sixteen: Let the stuff dry. Get board on the time it takes to dry and dance within the mirror with shower cap on after the tanning woman leaves the room.
Step Seventeen: Exit of the tanning room and fake that tanning woman and I are in all probability married in some international locations (contemplating the issues she has seen!)
Step Eighteen: Exchange all of the tanning options again on the cabinets that my two 12 months previous has taken down.
Step Nineteen: Take away “palm tree” tanning stickers from my daughter’s hair (and different physique components).
Step Twenty: Look within the mirror and suppose once more, “Sure, even fats seems to be higher tanned!”
Step Twenty-One: Appears fabulous with a twig tan with out the risk of the solar!
Step Twenty-Two: Inform everybody what an expertise I had and positively encourage them to undergo the identical issues I needed to!